Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
