Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
