I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
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Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
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doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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