what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
