God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize