my vag is so smooth its legendary
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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