it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
well you can't waste a boner
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
