It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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