How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
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