So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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