I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
