she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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