doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
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Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
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My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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