I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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