oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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