you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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