I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
