Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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