I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
