Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
