I'm laying in your front yard are you home
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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