babies were throwing up all over the place
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
The uberlube is also flammable
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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