I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize