I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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