So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
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