i'm lost and i look like a hooker
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
