is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
