I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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