There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
