the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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