Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
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