Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
