How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
