Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
