The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
