I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
