whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
