More tranny stories later!
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
