I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
