Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
