Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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