the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
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He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
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I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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