Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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