Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
