STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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