I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
