So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
