is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
