I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
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