never play flip cup with pint glasses
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
