i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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