i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
