yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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