Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
