no, he came in my armpit
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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