i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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