in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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