Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
