I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize