She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
