Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
They took my balls.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize