Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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