how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
