Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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