Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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