Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
