I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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